10 weeks

Everything looks great with the baby! I still have a bleed so of course Dr. Werlin is keeping me on bed rest. Im sure if he has his way he will keep me in bed until I graduate which isn't for another two weeks! I am going insane and I have cabin fever!!!!!!!!

9 weeks

We got to see the baby again today and he or she was moving around:) all of the ultrasounds will be so much more exciting from this week on. Now is when we will start to see this baby grow like crazy!!!! You can see the movement on the video! I still have a bleed last week it was 27 cm today its 22 cm so I'm still on bed rest:( but hey I will do whatever I need to do to keep this baby safe:)

First OB appointment 9 weeks

Went to my first OB appt today. Baby A is a fighter and hanging on tight he or she is measuring 9 weeks which is exactly what I am today. We heard the heartbeat today! If you look at the top on the picture you can see baby B it's getting smaller and smaller everyday he or she will continue to shrink until it just dissolves. Weird I know! The bleed is still there although it's smaller and on its way out she agrees with the bed rest for now until the bleed is gone. I will see Dr Werlin tomorrow and will know for sure then if he will keep me on bed rest:( I'm still spotting but it's brown and that's normal from what happened. I'm still struggling from the loss of the other twin I'm trying to focus on baby A. I'm still scared but today's appt made it a little easier to deal with:)

Cry now / Smile later

How does one grieve but remain happy at the same time? I am struggling to put on a smile and act like I am happy. I know I should be happy that I am finally at least pregnant with one baby. This is not your typical miscarriage. With a miscarriage you pass the pregnancy, grieve and move forward. Not easily but you do it. When you are pregnant with twins, and one baby survives while the other one doesn't you will ALWAYS be reminded of the loss. When you deliver you will think about the second baby that you were supposed to hold. When the baby starts walking you will think about you were supposed to see two pair of little feet running around:( This is going to haunt me forever:( I feel like it would have been so much easier if baby B never developed at all, if the sac stayed empty. But seeing two heartbeats??? it kills you. How will I ever be able to put this behind me?

Sad sad news we lost baby B

I am not going to post Friday's ultrasound video because its just too sad:( I had a bleeding scare last Saturday on Easter weekend. I also passed a huge clot:( the bleeding stopped and I thought for sure that everything was fine. Well Friday's ultrasound confirmed my worst fears. Baby B did not have a heartbeat and we lost him/her:( Dr. Werlin has put me on bed rest until further notice because I do have a bleed and he doesn't want it to irritate my uterus since baby A is doing great. We are completely devastated. Its been a really rough few days. I just want the hurt to go away so I can put all of my energy into focusing on Baby A. This has been a an exhausting and emotional roller coaster, and I want off! In the last four weeks we went from having one baby to having two babies, seeing both of their heartbeats, then losing one and going back to one baby. I just don't know how much more I can take:(

My new favorite craving

I am now addicted to this from Cherry on top frozen yogurt! The yogurt is called Hawaiian Delight and I load it with tons of fresh fruit!!!! Thanks babe for going out to get it for me:) your the best!!!!

Whoever named it morning sickness needs a serious reality check

With Mia I mostly got sick late at night really bad, and a couple of times in the morning. With these twins, I am sick non stop and miserable all day and all night long:( I haven't left the house all week and its been very challenging to get my full time job done, plus take care of my little energizer bunny toddler who needs me every five seconds for everything. Definitely ready for this part of pregnancy to be over with. My aunt reminds me that sickness is a positive sign of a healthy pregnancy, so I keep telling myself this is good thing. My doctor has offered a medication to help with it but I don't like to take anything during pregnancy at all especially during the first trimester so I am sucking it up for now.

It's official we are having twins!!!

You've gotta love hearing Dr. Werlin sing in the background!!! He makes all of our appointments very memorable!!! We just love him so much! You will never find another doctor like him out there ever!!!! He is one of a kind!

My 2 little beans