One of the things that I love most about having a blog is meeting all of the women reading this. I have met so many fellow fertility sisters through this blog and its awesome! So if you are struggling with infertility I want to hear about it!


Daisypath - Personal pictureDaisypath Anniversary tickers
Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Kids Birthday tickers
Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie First Birthday tickers


We love you Dr. Werlin!!!!!

Best IVF doctor!!!!!

Timeline

01/06 IUI #1 injections = BFN


04/06 IUI#2 injections = BFN


08/07 IVF #1 Lupron /Follistim ET 3 embies Aug = BFN


11/07 IVF #2 Lupron / Follistim / Menopur ET 4 embies (2 snowbabies) - 8/29/08 Its a girl! 8:14 am 8 lbs 10 oz 20 1/2 inches long = BFP


06/11 IVF #3 Lupron/follistim/menopur ET 4 embies - None made it to freeze = BFN


11/11 IVF#4 (FET) - Starting acupuncture again
11/28/11 (2) 5 day blasts snowbabies survived thaw & transferred
12/09/11 Beta #1 - (18.1) = BFP low but cautiously optimistic
12/12/11 Beta #2 - (14) = Losing the pregnancy
12/19/11 Miscarried at 5 weeks 5 days :(


2012
IVF #5 Next and FINAL attempt to grow our family We are out of money :(
2/17/12 Start all meds
2/29/12 Possible egg retrieval
3/3/12 Possible embryo transfer
3/14/12 Beta

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Cry now / Smile later

How does one grieve but remain happy at the same time? I am struggling to put on a smile and act like I am happy. I know I should be happy that I am finally at least pregnant with one baby. This is not your typical miscarriage. With a miscarriage you pass the pregnancy, grieve and move forward. Not easily but you do it. When you are pregnant with twins, and one baby survives while the other one doesn't you will ALWAYS be reminded of the loss. When you deliver you will think about the second baby that you were supposed to hold. When the baby starts walking you will think about you were supposed to see two pair of little feet running around:( This is going to haunt me forever:( I feel like it would have been so much easier if baby B never developed at all, if the sac stayed empty. But seeing two heartbeats??? it kills you. How will I ever be able to put this behind me?
Posted by at 2:08 PM

1 comment:

Jammie J. said...

Honestly, it's not a matter of putting it behind you. It's not. You can't. That baby was real and alive. You *have* to grieve the loss of that baby... and you will never, ever forget.

For me, though, it makes your surviving baby even more special and that much more of a miracle... if that's even possible.

I'm sending hugs your way and I'm praying constantly for you and your family.

April 18, 2012 at 8:29 AM

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