*It never ceases to amaze me......

the complete ignorant asinine things fertile people say to  infertile people!!!! Its not rocket science! You just have to think before you speak. Its always the people who have more than one child that say the stupidest things. I just want to say to them walk ONE mile in my shoes, forget your beautiful full life, imagine your life without your children, then imagine going though what I have gone through. Spending the money that I have spent. Injection after injection, Negative pregnancy test after negative test. Miscarriage, heartbreak, tears, dreams squashed, need I say more? My mom always taught me if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all. This lesson goes a long way if followed!  UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bottom line: Just be kind to each other and show some love!!!! Leave the negativity out!!!!

*My IVF history

So in my world we have signatures in our infertility forums with our IVF history to share with fellow fertility sisters. Some scare you because you see procedure after procedure with not ever getting pregnant, some show miscarriage after miscarriage, and some give you hope and inspire you. I have been through so much, 2 IUI's and 4 IVF's with only one miracle to show for, thank GOD! As I am about to start my final cycle I am reminded of my journey. This is what mine looks like.

*Nothing says its over like........

******TMI ALERT*******
Heavy bleeding, major cramping, and huge blood clots!!! So it has started, I am losing the pregnancy. I am really hoping to get some closure when this part is over. Had to go back to the doctor today for my final beta, confirming my levels are back to zero. I guess at this point I should be glad that its not an eptoic pregnancy. That would be worse. So after $320.00, I sit and wait for the phone call to confirm what I already know:( This really does suck, especially at this time of the year.

*Miscarrying at 5 weeks, 5 days

Some people don't understand how far along you really are when going through IVF. We would have had another August baby:(

*Broken

*Not gonna lie

I have had a really shitty last few days:( First I was told that I was pregnant, then I was told that I am going to have an early miscarriage, then I was told that my sisters babies were coming early all in the last 5 days. WOW! Timing is everything isn't it?

You know I think that I would rather hear you are not pregnant instead of you are pregnant, just to have it taken away from you. At least when you get a negative test you have a final answer, and you can move on. When you have a chemical pregnancy you get to deal with the ups and downs, getting your hopes up then having them squashed. The worse part is sitting around waiting to bleed and pass this embryo that I dreamed of holding!

Okay then to pour salt in the wound. You are asked to come back to the doctor so you can do another blood test to make sure that your level is back to zero. So $200.00 for each blood test. Ummmm yes we are sorry but these extra pregnancy tests are not covered by the package that you purchased. So please pay us $400.00 for us to tell you that you are no longer pregnant. That's just cruel!

Today was bitter sweet for me. I drove to the hospital to see my brand new nephew and nieces. The long awaited triplets :) I have waited so long for these babies and I am so happy that they are finally here and doing well. I am so happy for my sister Lanie and my brother in law. But it just kind of hurt to see them come into this world as I am preparing to lose mine. Not the Christmas I had hoped for. My sister and I had planned on getting pregnant together. My sister feels horrible for me, and I don't want to take anything away from her very exciting day so I suck it up and hurt silently. All day I was surrounded by pregnant women checking in, walking the halls in labor and watching baby after baby be wheeled down the hallway. It was excruciating. I held it together, stayed strong and smiled because its very unfair to be selfish on this day.

We went through IVF  together she went first assuming that the first try would never take as it often doesn't. I went after hoping to get pregnant. After two failed attempts, I am left with nothing but a broken heart:( Still dreaming of adding to our family but losing hope. Running out of money and patience. How much longer can I possibly keep this up. Not sure I have it in me anymore. Thank God for my Mia because without her I would probably have gone insane by now. Infertility tears you apart piece by piece until you can no longer continue.

*My go to song in times like this:(

Over before it started :(

Beta # 2 is 14!

Well unfortunately my worse case scenario came true. I have read about chemical pregnancy's but never thought it would happen to me. Well check that one off my list. I was told that I was pregnant just to be told today that I would be losing this pregnancy. Such a horrible time to have to go through this. I guess the only positive thing that I can think of is that at least I have an answer so I can move forward. We have one fresh cycle left which we will do right away. After that I am throwing in the towel. I can't deal with this anymore, not to mention the fact that we have no more money for any other procedures. Infertility sucks! For now I have an amazing beautiful daughter who at this moment is singing you'll be in my heart from Tarzan and holding my face in her hands. She is the best thing that has happen to me so I am going to focus all of my love on her.

Results of my Beta are in!!!! Oh boy here we go again!

Well its another good news / bad news situation.
Good news is, I am pregnant!!!!!!!! Bad news is my beta is very low. Its 18.1 I go back for another blood test Monday morning. We need to pray that it doubles. We need this number to climb! So once again I am in beta limbo. I'll post on Monday when I hear the new number.

Cheat report - Im officially in hcg HELL!!!

 I took HPT's. Here are the results. I have five first response tests, all come up with faint positives!!!! The last three are a little darker than the first two Which means I am pregnant! There is HCG in my system enough to register a positive on a test.

Now don't get too excited! here's the downer. I also took a digital hpt and it says " NOT PREGNANT"

What does this mean you ask? Well it could be one of two things.

(A) It could mean that I am pregnant and my hcg level is just too low to register a positive on a Digital test because they require a higher hcg level then regular tests. Trust me I want to go with this one!!!! I want to believe that I have another low beta and its a slow climber. If I was completely negative, there would be NO SECOND LINE. A faint line is still a line which equals a positve result:)

(B) The other thing that it could be is what they call a chemical pregnancy
Chemical pregnancy: Sometimes an early pregnancy is detected - followed by negative test results. A chemical pregnancy means implantation takes place (hCG is produced for a short time) followed by a miscarriage (generally, before any other pregnancy symptoms are detected).

Lets just pray for plan A:)

These tests are my last bit of hope. I am holding on to them with both hands. Praying for a low beta but a positive one! At least I still have hcg in my system:)

Its in God's hands, I have to let it go and give it to him. We are going to need a miracle today for sure. So please pray for us. I have been a complete and total nut case this entire week! Just ask my fertility sisters! I have all of the symptoms. I believe that I am pregnant! But there is nothing left for me to do but wait. Its going to be the longest 3-5 hours of my life! I went in this morning at 7:30 for my blood test. He usually calls back with the results anywhere from 11:00 am to 1:00 pm. I give him Luis's phone number because I can not hear Dr. Werlins voice if its bad news. I would rather hear it from Luis. So its either going to be a great day today or a crappy one!!! In either case I just wish it was over already!

My symptoms so far

11/28 - Transferred two blasts best we have ever had:)
11/29 - 1 dp5dt - mild cramping off and on
11/30 - 2 dp5dt - mild cramping off and on
12/1 - 3 dp5dt - mild cramping off and on
12/2 - 4 dp5dt - 1:30 am sharp pain with a little bit of spotting now feeling pulling in uterus
12/3 - 5 dp5dt - feeling pulling in my uterus
12/4 - 6 dp5dt - feeling some pulling not as much, is it fading?
12/5 - 7 dp5dt - still cramping
12/6 - 8 dp5dt - still cramping
12/7 - 9 dp5dt - cramping and still feeling pulling
12/8 - 10 dp5dt - cramping and uterus pain
12/9 - 11 dp5dt    Pregnancy test should have results around 1:00 pm

What to do on your two week wait!

Why OBSESS of course! Who doesn't right? So here is a breakdown of what happens after a 5 day frozen embryo transfer
0dpt... Embryo is now a blastocyst
1dpt....Blastocyst hatches out of shell on this day
2dpt.. Blastocyst attaches to a site on the uterine lining
3dpt.. Implantation begins,as the blastocyst begins to bury in the lining
4dpt.. Implantation process continues and morula buries deeper in the lining
5dpt.. Morula is completely inmplanted in the lining and has placenta cells &
fetal cells
6dpt...Placenta cells begin to secret HCG in the blood
7dpt...More HCG is produced as fetus develops
8dpt...More HCG is produced as fetus develops
9dpt...HCG levels are now high enough to be immediately detected on
HPT


My pregancy test is 11dpt!!!!! Friday you seem so far away!!!!

Bed Rest check!!!!

Yay so glad that my strict 5 days of bed rest are over:) I was so sad to see my mom go:( She has been my angel through all of this. Her faith is so strong and she is so positve so you can't help but to feel so good when you are around her:) She made breakfast, lunch and dinner everyday and took great care of Mia and Luis too. She cleaned and kept my laundry up so I had nothing to do when I got out of bed. She is the best! I love you mom!

Last night we went to church because after the service they were having their first ever tree lighting ceremony. It was FREEZING!!!!! but well worth it. The tree was huge and beautiful!!  Mia loved it!

Day 4 of bedrest

Okay so last night around 1:30 am I was woken up by this scratching feeling in my uterus. It immediately made me think of when I was pregnant with Mia. I felt the same kind of pain:) I am hoping this is a good sign!!!! I just keep telling myself after all I am PUPO pregnant until proven otherwise! Also had a nice surprise last night, our friends Veronica and Josh came by to visit! They are so sweet she made me this delicious dessert!!! We met through our infertility journey and have so much in common. Way more than we thought! We are so lucky to have found them:)


Symptoms so far: still mild cramping, that uterus scratching pain and here we go again all I want is water. Everything else including my decaf coffee is not tasting good:)

Day three of bed rest

I am so blessed! I have so much to be thankful for. Luis was so great on Monday he took such great care of me, and now that he had to go back to work I am so lucky to have my mom stay with me. She is the best and there is nothing like having your mom to step in. Being on bed rest when you have a 3 year old is very hard. As a mom you know how much work it is, so I feel horrible when I have to rely on others to do my job:( I have the best support system in the world:)

Symptoms so far just mild cramping:) Hoping this is a good sign:)

Great news today!!!!

Well today is a great day!!! Got the call this morning at 9:30 that both of my embryos survived the thaw!!! Laying in the office just transferred both back:) I have a very good feeling about this!!! Please pray for us! Here is a pic of my perfect embryos :) now time for bed rest! Pregnancy test scheduled for Dec 9th. Now I enter the dreadful two week wait:(

My little miracle Mia

Lately I have been thinking about how much of a miracle my baby girl really is. When I think back to my second IVF, we put back 4 embryos. Out of those 4 only one took. That one little embryos was hanging on by a thread. My first beta was low at 50, then the next one was 86 she didn't even double. I was so afraid of losing the pregnancy. My third beta was 167, it finally doubled but was climbing slowly. The 4th beta was 1100. At that time I took a deep breath and Thanked God then prayed that this one embryo would continue to grow inside of me. Its amazing how hard it is to actually get pregnant with all of the obstacles even naturally. I feel so blessed to be a mom and to have such an amazing little girl!!!! I am very lucky!

Flat on my back:(

See that spot between the two red squares? That is where the pain is, it feels like a nerve is being pinched then it feels like bone on bone rubbing! The pain is horrible, I have been laying on my back with the heating pad. Can't do much:( I really need it to go away because I have a million things to do to get ready for my Thanksgiving dinner next week! My transfer will be here before I know it then it will be time for bed rest:( Then the stress of Christmas is here:( So much to do!

I Love acupuncture!!!!

I absolutley love my acupuncture appointments. Its so relaxing and just helps put your mind to sleep for just a little bit:) The 30 minutes of peace and quiet is priceless!!!! LOL! I use this time to Pray Pray Pray! Did I mention Pray:) Its a great time to have a conversation with God, to thank him for all of my blessings and for sending me my little miracle Mia. I also use to this time to Pray for all of my friends and family. Its really is amazing, you feel wonderful after, you feel refreshed and have a lot of energy:) If anyone is looking for a great acupuncturist in the OC go see Dr. Kathleen Albertson at OC Acuncture. She is amazing and has helped a lot of women going through IVF treatments. She has the pictures of the babies on her walls to prove it:) When I go she puts the needles in my ear, both hands, stomach, both legs and feet. Sometimes one in my head.

http://www.orangecountyacupuncture.com/

The studies below are worth giving it a try. Its a little pricey but if you can swing it I would do it for sure!

         

• Scientific studies have shown that acupuncture and Chinese medicine affect fertility in the following ways:

• Improves ovarian function yielding higher quality eggs
• Regulates hormones for increased production of follicles
• Increases blood flow to the uterus and increases the thickness of the uterine lining
• Prevents uterine contraction post IVF embryo transfer
• Reduces the side effects of IVF medication
• Improves sperm count, motility, morphology and reduce sperm DNA fragmentation
• Increases chance of conceiving
• Decreases chance of miscarriage

Need I say more?????

Headaches headaches go away!

Ugh, I would have to say besides the bed rest, the headaches that come along with IVF treatments really suck. Just recently had a major migraine that kept me up until 3:00 am:( I have never had a migraine this bad before. If you parted my hair down the middle of my head, the entire left side of my brain felt like it was going to explode. I thought I was going to have to wake Luis up to take me to the emergency room. Finally at 2:30 am I couldn't take the pain anymore so I went downstairs to take an Excedrin migraine. Finally at 3:00 am the pressure started to ease and I was able to fall asleep;) My acupuncturist says that she thinks its a combo of the decaf, stress and the weather going up and down. I will be glad when I get back to myself.

Taking my last birth control pill tonight!!!!

I had a doctor appointment this morning. Just an ultrasound to make sure that everything is still clear! Lining was great and both ovaries are clear so I will take my last bcp tonight and its on to injections! I start my acupuncture tomorrow. Can not wait! This is something that I enjoy very much:) It also increases your IVF success up to 50% can't beat that!

Biopsy results in

Well got the call from Dr. Werlin on the long awaited biopsy results lol! He said everything was perfect! He always says when you are perfect you are perfect:) Always positive, so the good news is I have been given the green light to move forward with my frozen embryo transfer immediately! Woooo hooooo! Yay!

On another note, I have been thinking a lot about my sister. She is amazing and doing so well her triplet pregnancy. She just had a real big scare recently. Yes another scare:( She went in for the anatomy scan which was going to be a long 2 hour appointment. Good news was all babies are healthy, no heart defects. Bad news was her blood count was dangerously low. So low that she had to have a blood transfusion. So after an overnight stay at the hospital and 3 liters of blood later she was released and is now on iron 4 times a day. Hey ladies if you are taking a prenatal vitamin especially the gummy ones please check for the iron. My sister recently discovered that her gummy prenatals were missing iron. Who would have ever guessed that? Anyway her shower is a week and half away! Yikes I have a lot to do. Can't wait for those babies to be here!

Biopsy details ( I survived )

Okay so here are the steps in having a mock fet cycle biopsy. Would this scare you? There is a reason why you don't know much before going in to have this done:)

1) Place the speculum
2) Clean everything out with iodine
3) Pulling on the uterus
4) Giving 3 injections of novacane in the uterus
5) Putting a clamp on the uterus
6) Cut a small piece out for the biopsy
7) Take off the clamp
8) Cauterize the bleeding with silver nitrate
9) Take out the speculum
10) Expect bleeding for the next couple of days

Okay so I was totally a wreck wondering what was going to happen, wondering how bad it was going to hurt. I get to my appointment and Dr. Werlin can clearly see that I am so very nervous. So he turns down The Stones for a minute and explains in detail the above. Then I really freak out! I have been getting injections for quite a while now, but thinking about getting them in my uterus sent me over the edge. He told me to breathe, and I started talking to him, yes it was a little uncomfortable but he then said okay I am finished! I was like what??????? Oh wow that was a piece of cake:) He said now didn't I tell you the truth? He then said he knew that I was so nervous and said sometimes when that happens and you have been laying down for a while once you get up you could pass out. So he insisted that I continue to lay down for at least one song, so I did and of course it was one of my favorites "waiting on a friend"
 He is so awesome! Seriously I wish that I could have this man to be my permanent doctor for everything. I just love him! Also today in the office they were celebrating his birthday. They had it all decorated and they gave each patient a little party hat card to write your own little message to him and tape it to his door. Sweetest most caring Doctor out there, can you tell I love him?!?!? Can't brag enough about him! LOL!

Should have the biopsy results on Monday!

Anxiety Attack (Biopsy is tomorrow morning)

Right now I am full of anxiety and I have no idea what to expect tomorrow morning. All I know is Dr. Werlin told me to take 4 motrin one hour before the procedure. So obviously it can't be that bad. I am a pro at fresh cycles but stick me in this FET and I am freaking out with nervousness! I mean come on cutting out a piece of your uterine lining while you are awake with no local. LOL! Doesn't sound too pleasant:( I get two shots tonight, and one more early in the morning before I leave. I just want this over with so I can begin my real frozen embryo transfer. Dr. Werlins birthday is Saturday 10-8 the same as my dads, I wanted to make him some cupcakes to take in tomorrow but its been pouring all day so I haven't made it to the market:( Should have picked them up yesterday while I was out.

Saw Dr. Werlin today :)

Dr. Werlin had the Stones blasting a little louder than normal today:) It is Friday afterall! Everything looks great, ultrasound and blood work. I am waiting for his phone call to see what I am adjusting my meds to then I go back next Tuesday and the big biopsy is set for Thursday. YIKES! OUCH! Just got the phone call while typing this, he says to boost me up to 8mg:) Can't say enough about Dr. Werlin, he is amazing! So positive and just has the best bedside manner. LOVE LOVE LOVE HIM!

Daily reminder

Saw this on facebook today and it just seemed to be perfect for the kind of day I am having. I have to remind myself of this verse and remember to read it daily.

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;"
- Proverbs 3:5 - Faith and trust are what our relationship with Jesus are made of!

The two loves of my life!

This picture makes me smile and reminds me how lucky and blessed I am!  I am so thankful for the great life that I have:) I love, love, love, being a wife and a mommy:)

Things that make me sad while struggling with infertility

As long as I can remember, I have always wanted a big family at least three would be nice. I wanted them by the time I turned 30 HA HA! God had different plans for me so while I wait for my next miracle here are some things I struggle with.

*Seeing pregnant women everywhere I go! I mean seriously is everybody and their mother pregnant right now?

*Being stopped behind a car that has those cute little stickers to represent their family and they go on and on and on :(

*Hearing women complain about their kids or pregnancy (except for my sister because she has three in there LOL)

* Watching everyone around me growing their families so easily:(

My heart goes out to all the women struggling with infertility, its a long heart wrenching journey. Don't give up ladies, we must never give up on our dreams of having a family or making it bigger. You are not alone!

She finally showed, first appt today

Okay had ultrasound and blood work early this morning to kick off my frozen embryo transfer:) Ultrasound is clear and just got the call from Dr. Werlin that my blood work looks great. I start my injections tomorrow! Yay! Game is on! This is a mock cycle so there won't be a lot of info to share since we are not stimulating my ovaries. Its a two month process, first month mock second month FET.

Oh Aunt Flo where are you?????

My goodness I am ready to jump back into this already, Aunt Flo where are you?!?!?!? You are late and your absence did not bring me good news:( Trust me I tested with hopes of a miracle but NO so you are taking your sweet time!!! Should have started on September 14th. Lets get going please!

Consultation result

I just realized that I never blogged about the actual consultation so I thought I would jump on to create a post. Well the consult went well of course we can't get enough of Dr. Werlin, I just love that man!!!! So he told us that he wouldn't really want to change our protocol for our 4th fresh cycle since I responded well to the meds. He did however suggest that we do a frozen embryo transfer with the two embryos on ice from round 2 of IVF before starting another fresh cycle. These are from the one that we got pregnant with Mia on:) So we know that they are strong embies! My biggest fear is that my little embryos do not survive the thaw. Dr. Werlin told us that they have an 80% chance of surviving and that sounds good to us. So we shall see!!!!

Take the Pledge! RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association

Take the Pledge! RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association

There are so many women going through this war alone:( too many women:( educate yourself on this subject and lend an ear to hear stories of couples going through infertility. It's a silent disease that goes un-noticed:( Let's get involved!

Started earlier than I expected

Well when my first IVF didn't work. I didn't start for 54 days! Which is not good because its a huge gap in time before you can begin your next IVF cycle. Dr. Werlin wants you to start then start again before cycling. Well this time I started pretty quickly after my negative beta, on the 15th to be exact which is good because this means we will more than likely be able to jump right into our next round:)

However my life is going to be insane for the rest of the year. I have my daughters birthday party to get through, then our next cycle, my sisters baby shower, my mom, dad, and husbands birthday, thanksgiving which is at my house, then the triplets will arrive and then finally Christmas!!!!! We want the triplets home in time for Christmas! Holy Moly thats a lot to get through in 4 short months! YIKES!

Consultation appointment set!

We have our consultation set up to meet with Dr. Werlin on August 25th. At this meeting we will discuss any changes that he might want to make to our protocol. Hopefully with a new protocol and going back to acupuncture IVF # 4 will be the lucky one. Keep praying for us please:)

Well its official Beta came back negative

So my worst fear came true, just got the call that my pregnancy test came back negative. Time to regroup before starting our 4th and final IVF. Too upset to talk to anyone right now but thank you for all the well wishes and prayers. Check back later for new info on the next cycle:(

Negative HPT

Well I poas this morning and this is what I saw:( This means most likely this round of IVF did not work. I will know for sure tomorrow after the blood test. I am completely devastated and do not understand why this did not work. I felt so different this time around and was sure that it worked.

Strange symptoms during 2 week wait

So here are the strange symptoms I am having during this two week wait.

*sore boobs
*cramping off and on
*uterus pressure
*major bloating! (seriously I look like I am 8 months pregnant)
*my taste buds are off, can not drink soda or coffee only water and Gatorade
*drinking a ton of water can not quench my thirst
*those little annoying headaches that come with a nauseous feeling
*little dizzy spells
*I am eating like crazy!!! Can't get enough food fast enough! LOL had mushroom pasta Alfredo three   days in a row for breakfast because it sounded so good. My mom was laughing at me and my sister wanted to throw up!
*having to pee in the middle of night twice!
*exhausted taking naps when I can in the afternoon
*weird pain under my ribs that comes and goes on the right side

Of course these could all be in my head for obsessing about this pregnancy also it doesn't help that my progesterone and estrogen shots could also be contributing:( Guess we will all find out soon enough:)

POAS day is tomorrow

I have two digital HPT's sitting on the counter and they are calling my name! Tomorrow morning I will either see PREGNANT or NOT PREGNANT! I am very nervous and anxious I also know that it could be negative tomorrow and I could still end up with a postive beta if my HCG levels are low. So that being said its not over till its over. Now I do have to say if I see NOT PREGNANT tomorrow morning I will be giving Dr. Werlin my husbands phone number to call with the beta results because I can not hear his tone of voice if its bad:(

Also worse case scenario if it didn't work, then I will dust myself off and jump back into round 4!

Bed Rest

Anybody who knows me also knows that I can not handle bed rest! Its horrible, and makes me insane. I have to thank my mom for coming out and staying with me for an entire week! She not only took care of me and Mia but she did laundry, cleaned and cooked! It was the best having her and we miss her already! So glad to be back in my bed and off of that uncomfortable blow up mattress! I also have to thank Luis who slept downstairs with me so I wouldn't be alone:) Also thanks to my family and friends who sent me food, and sent positive thoughts to me daily! You guys are the best!

No embryos left to freeze:(

Well I got the phone call I have been waiting for this morning. Dr. Werlin told me that we did not have any embryos left to freeze. We are staying positive because he also said that the ones inside of me are perfect:) Pregnancy test is scheduled for August 10th. Now next question is to cheat or not to cheat with a HPT on the 9th. Who am I kidding, I will be cheating. I need to know!

Embryo Transfer 7/30/11

On Saturday July 30th we went into Dr. Werlins office for our embryo transfer. We transferred, 4 embryos. 1 (eight cell) 1 (six cell) 2 (three cell) Now we need to pray for these embies to stick!

Just our luck!!!

At 2:00am this morning, Luis wakes me and says do you hear that noise? I said what noise? He says it sounds like water dripping! He gets up to look at our vanity area and both faucets are off, then he walks into where the toilet is and steps into a pile a water! He said our tank cracked and was leaking water!

I went to get some towels and I hear drip, drip drip. I quickly grabbed him to tell him its leaking downstairs. Thank God Luis had put in recessed lighting so the water went straight through our tile upstairs down through the pot holes splashing on to our couch and ottoman. They were soaked:( One good thing about it dripping on both of those, is that it protected our beautiful wood flooring!!! Can you even imagine how horrible that would be? He drained the tank and took out the pot hole casings and put buckets down. It finally stopped but now we have to replace the toilet and pray that there is no water damage! Seriously??? The timing could not be worse!

Egg retrieval CHECK!!!

So I had my egg retrieval yesterday. It went well. They retrieved 12 eggs total. Out of the 12 eggs 9 were good enough to inject. Out of those 9 eggs 7 fertilized!!! Most likely my embryo transfer will still be on Saturday 7/30 so I will know more that morning:)
As far as today goes, I am in a lot of pain. My ovaries are still very large so I am feeling a lot of pressure. This will go away, sooner than later I hope!

Egg Retrieval set

So now I have been going to see Dr. Werlin daily. Today during my appointment he told me that  my Egg Retrieval would be Wednesday. I go in again tomorrow morning for bloodwork. Wednesday I check into the surgery center at 8:15 am. The actual surgery is at 9:15 am. I always end up having a 3 day transfer which would put me at Saturday July 30th:) I will post quantity details when I get home Wednesday. Tonight I take my HCG trigger shot at 10:15 pm sharp with my last shot of Ganirelix so only two tonight! Wooo hoooo! Sure beats the 4 injections I have been getting every night. Stay tuned:)

Monday & Wednesday appointments

Monday and Wednesday appointments pretty much the same. I have about 7 follicles on my left and 7-8 on my right. Follicles are potential eggs. Today the largest was a 12mm which would explain my ovary pain. They are expanding nice and big to house these follies. Still getting mirgraines:( Next appointment is Friday.

GO DAY!!!!!!

Went in this morning for another ultra sound and blood work. Waiting for the call from Dr. Werlin, if all blood levels are good, today is go day. We will start with Lupron, Follistim, and Menopur! Boy oh boy 3 shots a day to start off with:) here are all my shots

The dreaded white box!!!!!

Okay so here is the highly anticipated big white box of drugs!!!! Hold on everybody here we gooooooo!

Baseline ultrasound and lab work

Okay so Monday's appointment I had my ultrasound and blood work done. We got the OK from Dr.Werlin to get started. Took my last BCP Monday thanks goodness!!!! Box of meds arrive Wednesday!

Day 2 Labs and Ultrasound

Today was my first appointment! Bloodwork and an ultrasound to confirm all is well. I will start BCP's tonight. My HSS is scheduled for next wednesday morning. Yay! So glad to be back to Dr. Werlin! We should have a great cycle, he already confirmed I have 8 follicles on my right ovary as well as my left so 16 in all! Wooo Hooo! 

The ball is rolling yet once again!

Okay I set up my bloodwork appointment today! I should be getting ready to start my new IVF cycle next week with Dr. Werlin. I will be on BCP's for 3 weeks then its time to get stimming:) I can not wait to get started, although I know I am in for a bumpy road I am so excited to get back in the game! Game on:)

Song about infertility

I can't even begin to describe the pain that a woman goes through when she can not conceive on her own. Miscarriages, fertility treatments and negative pregnancy tests all fall into this horrible category of Hell on earth. I thought that once I had my daughter all of this pain would go away. Unfortunately for me, it has re-surfaced. My husband and I have been trying for a year and half to get pregnant on our own. Everyone says it will happen naturally now that we have had our Mia. This is not the case for us. We are figuring out a way to pay for yet another round of IVF. Everywhere I go, I see nothing but pregnant women. The pain that I felt all of those years ago creeps back up and it hurts.So many women who get pregnant on their own take it for granted. You don't realize what a gift it really is until you are told you can't conceive on your own. This song explains a lot of what us women are going through during these cycles. Stay strong ladies, your time will come.

Here we go again!

So I did it!!! I made that call today. Now that Mia is 2 1/2 we are ready to add to our family. We have been trying on our own for a year now. Unfortunately its not happening naturally. So once again we are headed to Dr. Werlins office:) I am so excited to get things going. Life is so great right now! So its official the ball is rolling our consultation is April 21st.